Jay Leno...

Well, more facts coming out [now] about the evacuation of Washington [Wednesday]. White House reporters said they were immediately escorted to a more secure location in the basement. Except for CBS reporters, who were moved to the White House roof. .... You know the saddest thing about this whole evacuation? While the White House was being evacuated, John Kerry ran in and sat behind the desk. .... In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care measure. The press is making a big deal out of this thing with Newt, but hey, if anyone knows how to appear in public with a man she can't stand it's Hillary Clinton. .... Police investigating the Wendy's chili finger case are now seeking help from Mexican law enforcement officials. So it looks like not only was there a finger in the Wendy's chili, it was there illegally. They think the finger might have snuck over the border and worked at Wal-Mart for a few weeks before it ended up in the chili. .... The Rolling Stones announced yet another tour. [They're] calling this tour "The Onstage Tour" because at each show a group of fans will be sitting up on stage with the band. Isn't that also called assisted living?