Wednesday Funnies

David Letterman... "Top Signs Your Barber Is Working for al-Qa'ida": You change part in your hair, that night it's top story on Al Jazeera; Instead of small talk about sports, it's small talk about streets flowing with Zionist blood; Customers pay with cash, credit card, or goat; Disinfects his combs in a jar of sarin gas; When he makes a mistake, says, "Ah, the turban will cover that"; Got his license at the Al Masadah Barber School and Training Camp; Manicures are done by sister, Tammi Bin Laden; During haircut he shouts, "Death to uneven sideburns!"

Jay Leno... The FBI now says they are considering relaxing their drug policy on new applicants who want to join the FBI. If you've smoked marijuana it's ok. So much for the war on drugs. I guess the new slogan is "if you can't beat, join them!" ... The Bush administration announced that they have captured al-Qa'ida's top barber. Well, who says we're not winning the War on Terror? Osama's cable guy—you're next! ... Al Gore said this week he is ruling out ever running for president again. He said he has no desire to be a presidential candidate ever again. Apparently sounds like he might have had some bad experience in the past. ... Listen to what the Democrats are doing: For a $2,500 donation, you can sit next to Hillary Clinton at a U2 concert in Washington, DC. And what could be more fun than going to a rock concert with Hillary Clinton? Maybe going to a disco with Al Gore? ... In speech earlier this at Harvard, Bill Clinton said he has no idea if Hillary will run for president. But he says if he ever sees her again he'll certainly ask. ... Ted Kennedy is being called a hero after he tried to rescue some fishermen who were in trouble. If you were drowning and the first face you see is Ted Kennedy...