Wednesday Funnies... :-)

David Letterman: "Top Signs You're On A Lame Spring Break": Your hotel room offers a breathtaking view of the Persian Gulf; The package is 5 days, 2 nights; Closest thing you get to a sunburn is a rash from the hotel linens; Limbo stick looks an awful lot like a human femur; Difference between the presidential suite and a regular room? Free Q-Tips; Ask where to take a swim, the concierge suggests mall fountain; The bed in your room is not a water bed but it's awfully damp; Conga line ends at Scientology Center.

Jay Leno: We are now down to the Final Four. Not college basketball, the number of people who still think President Bush is doing a good job. ... Dick Cheney is so desperate to get his 18% approval rating up that He is now thinking of shooting an IRS agent. ... A leak in the Alaskan Pipeline last week spilled 265,000 gallons of crude oil into the Arctic tundra. British Petroleum, the company that runs the oil operation, said that the spill was too small to be detected by their maintenance equipment, but just large enough to rise the price of gas fifteen cents a gallon this week. ... Wal-Mart is now hiring 150,000 people to work in their stores in China. Illegal immigrants thought the Rio Grande was tough to swim across. Wait until they try the Pacific Ocean. ... Scientists believe they may have located the actual Noah's Ark from the Bible in Eastern Turkey. Of course, Noah was the biblical figure said to have built the giant vessel to try and save people and animals from a great flood—or as FEMA would call him, "a showoff."