Wednesday Funnies :-)
David Letterman: “Top Signs Osama bin Laden is in love with you”: He carved your initials in an infidel; Always gets the camel washed and waxed before he picks you up; Never forgets to release an Al-Jazeera video on your birthday; You say you enjoy Barry Manilow—next day he sends you Barry Manilow’s ear; Orders 1 goat milk, 2 straws; Says only thing hotter than your body is his scorching hatred for the Zionists; Get a romantic greeting card that reads, “You jihad me at ‘Hello”’; He lets you call him “Ossie”; New intelligence reports put his whereabouts at Zales.
Jay Leno: There’ve been huge protests in the Muslim world over anti-Muslim comments made by Pope Benedict. Today the pope apologized, saying he never should have gone drinking with Mel Gibson. ... The price of gas is supposed to be down to $2 per gallon by Thanksgiving. The bad news is that turkey will be $80 per pound. ... The new president of Mexico says that he wants to work with the United States to let people in Mexico work jobs that they want to in the United States. As opposed to creating new jobs in Mexico. ... Fox News is reporting that the two leading candidates for the Democratic nomination for president are Hillary Clinton and Al Gore. One wants to prevent the melting of ice bergs and the other is an ice berg. ... Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the New York Senate race has been married three times and had two kids with his chief of staff while married to another woman. For the first time a Clinton is the family values candidate. ... Al Gore says he has not ruled out another run for the Oval Office. Have you seen Al Gore lately? He is the Oval Office. ... He also hasn’t ruled out a second run for pie, a second run for cake, a second run for cookies. ... For the first time ever there is now scientific proof that air travel can increase the spread of viruses. So now we may be able to stop the spread of some things, like bird flu. Does this mean I can no longer take my chicken on board? How can I now travel with my livestock? ... Jackie Chan is upset that he is only in martial arts movies. He wants other roles. Why doesn’t he do what normal people do and run for governor?
Jay Leno: There’ve been huge protests in the Muslim world over anti-Muslim comments made by Pope Benedict. Today the pope apologized, saying he never should have gone drinking with Mel Gibson. ... The price of gas is supposed to be down to $2 per gallon by Thanksgiving. The bad news is that turkey will be $80 per pound. ... The new president of Mexico says that he wants to work with the United States to let people in Mexico work jobs that they want to in the United States. As opposed to creating new jobs in Mexico. ... Fox News is reporting that the two leading candidates for the Democratic nomination for president are Hillary Clinton and Al Gore. One wants to prevent the melting of ice bergs and the other is an ice berg. ... Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the New York Senate race has been married three times and had two kids with his chief of staff while married to another woman. For the first time a Clinton is the family values candidate. ... Al Gore says he has not ruled out another run for the Oval Office. Have you seen Al Gore lately? He is the Oval Office. ... He also hasn’t ruled out a second run for pie, a second run for cake, a second run for cookies. ... For the first time ever there is now scientific proof that air travel can increase the spread of viruses. So now we may be able to stop the spread of some things, like bird flu. Does this mean I can no longer take my chicken on board? How can I now travel with my livestock? ... Jackie Chan is upset that he is only in martial arts movies. He wants other roles. Why doesn’t he do what normal people do and run for governor?
posted by Andy W. Rogers | 8:37 PM
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