Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno: As of [yesterday], the population of the United States has reached 300 million people. This is either attributed to a strong democracy or really weak border control. ... Mexico said today it plans to take the dispute about building a fence along its border with the United States to the United Nations. The United Nations traditionally has been against building fences between countries because, as you know, the UN believes fences are for sitting on. ... All around the world people were reacting to North Korea’s nuclear testing. The U.S. condemned it. China said it was wrong. France surrendered. ... According to Kim Jong-Il’s biography, they say he has been constantly accused of dishonesty, drunkenness and sexual excess. So if he lived here, he could be in Congress. ... The Army has changed their slogan to “Army Strong”. Other countries are following with their military. Ireland’s slogan, “Bar Fight!” China is “One Billion”. France of course is “Helping invading armies feel at home for over 100 years.” ... Saddam Hussein has now been on trial for over one year. One year? If this trial was in L.A., he’d be out golfing by now. ... There have been snowstorms back east. The snow is so deep in some areas that even Al Gore cancelled his speech on global warming. ... John Kerry says that he deserves a second chance to run for president. I say if his wife can afford it, why not? ... Bill Clinton came out in support of the estate tax last week. Clinton said that some people think he should leave all his money to his daughter when he’s gone, but he doesn’t think he should. He said he should spend it now on other people’s daughters when he’s still alive.