Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno: All the big candidates were out campaigning on the big Earth Day weekend. They had some good ideas. John McCain suggested we bomb Iran using hybrid planes. ... Sanjaya was voted off ‘American Idol.’ Experts say that America wasn’t going to vote for a guy who spends that much time on his hair, which is more really bad news for John Edwards. ... Edwards got two $400 haircuts in Beverly Hills. He said he only went to the expensive stylist because they are friends. Friends? What kind of friend charges $400 for a haircut? ... During appearances in Denver, John Kerry re-opened the door to running for president in 2008. You know, somebody should really lock that door. It just keeps swinging open and closed. ... Mitt Romney has announced that his son Tagg Romney has joined the campaign. No word from the other kids—Skip, Jump Rope and See Saw. ... FEMA told Congress this week that a revised emergency response plan it was ordered to develop after Hurricane Katrina will not be ready by hurricane season. Well, there’s a shock. It’s only been two years. I’m surprised FEMA even knows when hurricane season is. ... According to a news report out today, on average, 2006 was the safest year for airlines. It’s mostly due to JetBlue. You can’t have an accident if you never leave the runway.