Wednesday Funnies :-)
Conan O’Brien: “Speaking of Bill Clinton, yesterday at a global conference for poverty and education, former President Bill Clinton met with actress Angelina Jolie. Before the meeting, Clinton looked himself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and said, ‘Bill, this is the moment you’ve been training for your whole life’.”
David Letterman: “Top Ways George W. Bush Can Boost His Approval Rating”: Play comical slide-whistle every time he screws up; Tell everyone “W” stands for “Whoa, this guy’s awesome!”; Help O.J. find the real memorabilia; Devote weekly radio address to discuss what’s happening on “The Hills”; What do you mean “boost”? Everything’s great!; Appoint blue ribbon commission to find out what happened to the Mets.
Jay Leno: It’s official—Congress now has the lowest approval rating of any Congress in the history of the United States. It is just 11 percent. In fact, their approval rating is so low, today they were invited to speak at Columbia University. ... In a recent interview former President Bill Clinton was asked how he would handle being a “first husband.” If Hillary gets elected that would be his title. He said he would have no problem being a first husband. Being a husband first—that’s a problem. ... Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $5,000 be given to every baby in America at birth. Imagine that? Every baby born would get a $5,000 bond. Today Barack Obama topped that with $6,000 and a year supply of Turtle Wax. ... Advertisers have announced plans to put up giant billboards at the runway at LAX so passengers can read them while sitting on the plane on the runway. They say it’s a way to reach people who come to visit L.A. If you want to reach millions of people who are coming to L.A., put the sign up at the border. ... Congress has been having hearings this week concerning the increasing number of late airline flights. Congress said they may have to intervene in order to help the airlines improve. And really, who better than Congress to show you how to make your business run more efficiently?
David Letterman: “Top Ways George W. Bush Can Boost His Approval Rating”: Play comical slide-whistle every time he screws up; Tell everyone “W” stands for “Whoa, this guy’s awesome!”; Help O.J. find the real memorabilia; Devote weekly radio address to discuss what’s happening on “The Hills”; What do you mean “boost”? Everything’s great!; Appoint blue ribbon commission to find out what happened to the Mets.
Jay Leno: It’s official—Congress now has the lowest approval rating of any Congress in the history of the United States. It is just 11 percent. In fact, their approval rating is so low, today they were invited to speak at Columbia University. ... In a recent interview former President Bill Clinton was asked how he would handle being a “first husband.” If Hillary gets elected that would be his title. He said he would have no problem being a first husband. Being a husband first—that’s a problem. ... Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $5,000 be given to every baby in America at birth. Imagine that? Every baby born would get a $5,000 bond. Today Barack Obama topped that with $6,000 and a year supply of Turtle Wax. ... Advertisers have announced plans to put up giant billboards at the runway at LAX so passengers can read them while sitting on the plane on the runway. They say it’s a way to reach people who come to visit L.A. If you want to reach millions of people who are coming to L.A., put the sign up at the border. ... Congress has been having hearings this week concerning the increasing number of late airline flights. Congress said they may have to intervene in order to help the airlines improve. And really, who better than Congress to show you how to make your business run more efficiently?
posted by Andy W. Rogers | 7:27 PM
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