Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: “Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying to Improve Her Image” (submitted by “Late Show” viewers while Hollywood writers are on strike): She announced a new line of designer pantsuits (San Diego, CA); Promises to appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court (Houston, TX); Strongly endorses both sides of every issue (Middletown, NJ); Apologizes and checks into rehab for no apparent reason (Eagle River, WI); Borrowing John Edwards’ conditioner (Crosby, TX); Promises pudding for all Americans. Everyone loves pudding! (Apopka, FL); After two weeks of practice, can now sustain a four-second smile (New London, WI); Helping Dennis Kucinich return to his home planet (Hagerstown, MD); Showing she’s tough on drugs by throwing out Bill’s Viagra (Mount Tabor, NJ); Offering to use her frigidity to combat global warming (Ottawa, ON).

Jay Leno: The writers are [still] on strike... They are calling this the toughest time for comedy writing since those three weeks back in the ‘90s when Bill Clinton stopped dating.