Rush Limbaugh's Morning Update: Saint Hillary!

In a desperate effort to shore up her vanishing female base, Hillary Clinton has come up with yet another nanny-government entitlement package. This one promises more nutrition for children, nurses' visits for pregnant women, and a "universal nursery school program" for kids lucky enough to survive the sickness of pregnancy, in Hillary's world.

For a paltry $5 or $6 billion, Mrs. Clinton will give children "greater access to healthy, fresh food." A "universal school breakfast program" will be targeted to low-income neighborhoods; junk food will be banned from the skrools. Pregnant women -- for the first time in American history -- will see a nurse. Teen pregnancies will be abolished. And as an added bonus, irresponsible men who father children will also get nailed with tougher child-support enforcement. (Damn predators!)

Now, this is what we've been waiting for, folks: real solutions, not based in hope -- real change! American children will finally have access to healthy food. Poor fat slob kids will no longer suffer the stigma of being obese. There'll be a chicken in every pot, and a private nurse for every prego! (Except for teenage girls, who will be mandated not to get pregnant.) Brutish ex-husbands and boyfriends will finally pay their fare share for children they sire and then abandon.

My friends, the skies will open, light will come down, and celestial choirs will be singing the praises of Mother Hillary the Compassionate, the Patron Saint of Presidential Experience! And America will be screwed once again.

Read the Background Material on the Morning Update...
• AP: Clinton Offers Child Poverty Plan