Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno: Congressman Anthony Wiener of New York has introduced a bill that will grant immigrant status, immigrant visas, to supermodels that want to come here. Well, I have never been prouder to be an American. ... Hey, have you hear this story that Barack Obama and [actress] Scarlett Johansson are apparently e-mail buddies? Scarlett Johansson is quoted as saying, ‘My heart belongs to Barack Obama.’ How about that, huh? Barack’s not even president yet, still doing way better than Bill Clinton ever did. ... Not to be outdone today, John McCain admitted he had been exchanging flirty emails with Angela Lansbury. ... Hillary Clinton’s camp says she is not actively seeking the vice presidential nomination. Passive-aggressively seeking it, yes. ... The New York Times is reporting that Clinton associates are keeping an enemies list, an enemies list of all of the people who are considered Clinton traitors. And ironically, both Bill and Hillary are on each other’s lists. ... Barack Obama took some time out from campaigning recently to go on a date with his wife. And when Hillary Clinton heard about that, she said to Bill, ‘Why can’t you do something like that?’ So, today, Bill asked Barack Obama’s wife out on a date.