Wednesday Funnies :-)

Conan O’Brien: “More facts surfacing about Sarah Palin’s background every day. Sarah Palin’s father says that they shoot 90 percent of the meat their family eats. The other 10 percent they hit with their pick-up truck.”

Jay Leno: Here’s the latest word from Wall Street: “Ahhhh!” ... Well, if you saw the big interview with Gibson, Sarah Palin quoted Abraham Lincoln, when Lincoln said, “Let us not pray that God is on our side in any war, or at any other time, but let us pray that we are on God’s side.” And here’s the amazing part: You know who Abraham Lincoln said that to? John McCain. ... As you know, McCain... is a true American war hero. And today, a new video was released of John McCain being tortured by his captors. I want to warn you, this is very disturbing [on screen: McCain on “The View”]. ... Despite all the animosity in this campaign, John McCain and Joe Biden are actually old friends from the Senate. They’ve been friends for years. In fact, they go back so far that when they first met, McCain had hair and Joe Biden didn’t. ... The other day while talking to a group of supporters, Joe Biden said that Hillary Clinton might have been a better pick for vice president than him. Well, that’s one thing to get the base fired up—tell them they picked the wrong person! Yeah! That’ll get them fired up! ... August was a big fundraising month for the candidates: Barack Obama set a record for fundraising in August—$66 million. John McCain raised $47 million. Ralph Nader got a $10 gift card from Jamba Juice.