Wednesday Funnies :-)

Conan O'Brien: "Bill Clinton got the biggest response from the [inauguration] crowd. Apparently, thousands of women yelled, 'That's him, officer!'"

Jay Leno: You know a lot of celebrities in Washington for the inauguration. Isn't that unbelievable? So many celebrities are out of town, over in Malibu, they had to close the Promises Rehab Center for a week.

Good luck trying to find a place to stay. Given how hard it is to get a room in Washington, even Bill and Hillary had to double up.

Barack Obama plans to issue an executive order on his first full day in office, directing the closing of Guantanamo Bay. He said he needs the money for new prisons to hold Democratic mayors and governors.

Incoming press secretary Robert Gibbs said President-elect Barack Obama will allow gays to serve openly in the military. So the days of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" are over. Actually, that's not quite true. Congress will continue to use the phrase when referring to the bailout money. "Don't Ask Us What We Did With It, We're Not Going To Tell You Where It Went."

At his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Nominee Eric Holder said as far as he is concerned, waterboarding is torture. And Treasury secretary nominee Tim Geithner said, "So is paying taxes."

President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you.