Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno:

In Denver, President Obama signed the stimulus package into law. Anyone feel stimulated?

Fewer people are getting plastic surgery, the industry reports. How ironic. The one time you need a smile on your face and you can't even afford to get it.

hings are so bad, three stockbrokers tried to kill themselves by eating peanuts.

[A]irlines are now charging extra if you want peanuts without salmonella.

Well, just a few days after being nominated, New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg has withdrawn as the nominee for Commerce Secretary. In a statement explaining why he turned it down, he cited 'irresolvable conflict.' So, apparently, he must have paid his taxes.

After withdrawing his name for commerce secretary ... Gregg said he hoped he was just embarrassing himself and not President Obama, to which Joe Biden said, "Don't worry about it. I do it all the time."

Prosecutors have asked a Federal judge to send Marion Barry, the former mayor of Washington, DC, to jail for failing to file tax returns for the eighth time in nine years. ... So for Barry, it's either jail or a cabinet position in the Obama administration. Either one.