Rush Limbaugh's Morning Update: Breakfast!

Rush Limbaugh: Folks, before delving into today's update, let me issue a warning to those of you who consider yourselves responsible parents. When you hear what you're about to hear, you might have a negative reaction, so stifle it.

Let's begin. Educators in Washington, DC have a problem. Many of the students who eat "free" or "reduced-price" skrool lunches don't show up to the skrool for breakfast. Two reasons are cited. First: kids would have to get up earlier and make their way to the skrool cafeteria. Second: taking part in the breakfast program carries with it the stigma of a government program -- which is news to me, given how beloved government programs are.

So the educators came up with a plan: a pilot program allowing DC students to be served breakfast in the classroom. At least nine skrools have implemented the program. The AP news report doesn't specify the menu selections, or mention if the students are allowed to tip their waiters, but hey: the skrools give out condoms -- why not serve breakfast to the kids who are too tired to get up early for a free meal?

Look. I understand -- and you should too -- that today's parents don't have time or the inclination to pop open a cereal box and pour some milk on it to feed their own kids before school. I mean, this is the new America: old rules no longer apply. The words "individual responsibility" have no meaning. So, I guess, with that, pass the Pop-Tarts, and have a nice day... eating breakfast served at your desk. Sheesh!

Read the Background Material on the Morning Update...
• AP: Some DC schools serve breakfast in classrooms