Rush Limbaugh's Morning Update: Green Christmas

Rush Limbaugh: MEMO
From: Santa
To: the American children, naughty and nice:

Some changes coming to Christmas you need to know about.

First, I will no longer be wearing that familiar red outfit and hat. From now on, Santa's official color will be green. And if your house doesn't have energy-efficient bulbs, I'm not stopping there. Furthermore, because I'm fighting obesity, anybody offering me cookies and milk will be passed by -- as will any home playing the song "White Christmas," which is not racially inclusive.

Next. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been dropped from the lineup. He will replaced by Al the Green-Nosed Reindeer. Please adjust your songs accordingly.

Also, California is banning flat screen TVs because they use too much energy. So this year, no flat screen TVs for anybody -- just to be fair. And kids, all toys containing plastic will be banned because some people believe the additive BPA poses a risk. There isn't any proof, but as Santa Clause, I have to keep the lawsuits away. So if your favorite toy isn't made of cloth or wood, forget it.

Finally, children. I don't know how to break this to you, but former Vice President Algore has announced that the ice caps at my home at the North Pole will soon be gone. So after this Christmas, I have to close up shop at the North Pole and look for a new home for me, Mrs. Santa, the elves, and the polar bears. So, sadly, this will be your last Christmas. Enjoy it.

Oh, yeah: Ho, ho, ho! Hubba, hubba, hubba.

Read the Background Material on the Morning Update...
• UK Telegraph: Climategate -- Al Gore spews the usual nonsense but this time no one believes him