Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: “Top Things Overheard Outside ‘Snakes On a Plane”’: What’s it about?; So I can’t bring a bottle of water on a plane but snakes are OK?; Hi, two adults and one snake, please; I didn’t care for the “Snakes in the Theater” promotion; Exact same thing happened to me last time I flew Delta; No, Mr. Gibson, I’m not Jewish.

Jay Leno: I got an invitation to [Bill Clinton’s 60th birthday] party. You see, it says you are cordially invited to the party. It runs from 8:00 to whenever Hillary shows up. ... President Bush said the United States is still under the threat of attack and will continue to be right up until Election Day. ... I don’t want to say President Bush’s approval rating is dropping, but I understand there’s a sign outside of Crawford, Texas, that now says, “Home of Cindy Sheehan.” ... There’s a hurricane watch for tropical storm Ernesto. Let me tell you something. These hurricanes are getting smart. They know a Hispanic hurricane has a better chance of getting into the country. ... This is finally a happy story in the Middle East. In the Gaza strip, Palestinian militants released those two Fox News journalists. They were released unharmed... The Palestinians said they just couldn’t take any more of the pro-Bush stories. ... The formation of the new international peacekeeping force in southern Lebanon was dealt a setback when the French government only committed to sending 400 troops instead of the thousands of troops they originally agreed to send. Actually, it’s not their fault. It turns out the French only have 400 troops that can walk forward.