Cheney Invites Libby on Hunting Trip :-)
The Borowitz Report
Vice President Dick Cheney raised eyebrows in Washington today by announcing that he was inviting his former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, to join him on a hunting trip in Texas.
Coming as it did during the first week of Mr. Libby’s trial for perjury relating to the CIA leak case, the vice president’s invitation to hunt for quail seemed certain to arouse suspicions.
But in a press conference at the White House today, Mr. Cheney insisted that the hunting trip had been in the works “for months” and had nothing to do with Mr. Libby’s trial.
“I just thought that this would give Scooter a chance to get a little fresh air,” Mr. Cheney said. “As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing more relaxing than hunting – especially when you bag something.”
Aides to Mr. Libby were less than enthusiastic about Mr. Cheney’s invitation, however, with one of his lawyers saying that his client “should under no circumstances go anywhere near Cheney, a gun, and the woods.”
“He should stay here and stand trial,” Mr. Libby’s lawyer said. “Worst case scenario, he’ll have to do some prison time, but at least he’ll be alive.”
For his part, Mr. Cheney said that Mr. Libby’s lawyers were being “worry warts,” adding that his former aide had his “full support.”
“I’m behind Scooter,” Mr. Cheney said, loading his rifle. “Right behind him.”
Elsewhere, President Bush said that the American people should not be concerned that he has given himself the right to read their mail, because “everybody knows how much I hate to read.”