Wednesday Funnies :-)
Conan O’Brien: “The president of Iran gave a speech in New York City... and thousands of New Yorkers are really upset about it. The New Yorkers said, ‘If we want to hear a short-tempered Iranian man yell at us, we’ll take a cab’.”
David Letterman: “Top Ten Contest” for the “Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq”: “Extremist Makeover”; “Sects And The City”; “So, You Want To Be A Martyr”; “Sponge Bob Square Burka”; “Wives Swap”; “Sunni & Cher”; “Kurd Your Enthusiasm”; “Are You Smarter Than a Goat Herder?”; “How I Met Your Mullah”; “Desperate Cavewives.”
Jay Leno: The president of Iran, Mahmud Ahma-nut job, came to New York to address the United Nations. Why isn’t his name on the no-fly list? You don’t want to get stuck behind him in the security line. How long would that take? Actually, you know he’d go through the line in two minutes, but they’d strip search the 85-year-old grandmother standing behind him. ... Did you know he was issued a visa to come here? Isn’t that amazing? You need a visa to get into the United States now! When did they start with that? ... You know the interesting part? After he landed, he actually drove his own cab in from the airport. ... According to a new report out of Cuba, Fidel Castro is near death, but is clinging to life and he is determined to outlive the Bush presidency. Wow, just like Dan Rather. ... At a John Kerry speech at the University of Florida, a student was asking the senator so many annoying questions that police tasered him. Of course, people in Washington were stunned by this. What? John Kerry’s still giving speeches? ... While the cops had him down, did you hear what he yelled to the police? He was yelling, ‘Don’t tase me bro.’ You know something, any time a white guy says the word ‘bro,’ he deserves to get tasered. ... Another person was tasered today during a John Kerry speech. Not for being disruptive—I guess while listening to Kerry, the guy slipped into a coma.
David Letterman: “Top Ten Contest” for the “Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq”: “Extremist Makeover”; “Sects And The City”; “So, You Want To Be A Martyr”; “Sponge Bob Square Burka”; “Wives Swap”; “Sunni & Cher”; “Kurd Your Enthusiasm”; “Are You Smarter Than a Goat Herder?”; “How I Met Your Mullah”; “Desperate Cavewives.”
Jay Leno: The president of Iran, Mahmud Ahma-nut job, came to New York to address the United Nations. Why isn’t his name on the no-fly list? You don’t want to get stuck behind him in the security line. How long would that take? Actually, you know he’d go through the line in two minutes, but they’d strip search the 85-year-old grandmother standing behind him. ... Did you know he was issued a visa to come here? Isn’t that amazing? You need a visa to get into the United States now! When did they start with that? ... You know the interesting part? After he landed, he actually drove his own cab in from the airport. ... According to a new report out of Cuba, Fidel Castro is near death, but is clinging to life and he is determined to outlive the Bush presidency. Wow, just like Dan Rather. ... At a John Kerry speech at the University of Florida, a student was asking the senator so many annoying questions that police tasered him. Of course, people in Washington were stunned by this. What? John Kerry’s still giving speeches? ... While the cops had him down, did you hear what he yelled to the police? He was yelling, ‘Don’t tase me bro.’ You know something, any time a white guy says the word ‘bro,’ he deserves to get tasered. ... Another person was tasered today during a John Kerry speech. Not for being disruptive—I guess while listening to Kerry, the guy slipped into a coma.
posted by Andy W. Rogers | 8:02 PM
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