Rush Limbaugh's Morning Update: Ever!

In an interview with Fox News after the Hawkeye Cauci last week, I said that the barrage of gloomy economic "reporting" stems from a Drive-By Media bent for bad news. Though 94 percent are making their mortgage payments on time, the Drive-Bys give the impression that America is in a depression due to the 6 percent affected by sub-prime loans. I said that if a cure for cancer were found, the Drive-By Media would have one paragraph reporting the news -- the rest of the article would warn of negative consequences. That brilliant analysis led one Democrat strategist to charge that I -- El Rushbo -- am too optimistic, and am out of touch with the struggles of Joe Sixpack.

Get this! Over the weekend appeared an article from the flagship Drive-By newspaper, the New York Times, headlined: "AIDS Patients Face Downside of Living Longer." The article details the plight of a man diagnosed with AIDS almost 20 years ago, quote: "when the disease was a speedy death sentence and treatment a distant dream." Thanks to medical breakthroughs -- from Big Drug -- the guy's alive now. "But at what cost?" the Times asks. They bemoan the medical problems that come "with longevity."

I kid you not, folks! That's the message of the whole article: long-term AIDS survivors dealing with the "bad news" of being alive.

Let this be yet another lesson to you liberals. When I tell you I know you like every square inch of my glorious naked body (and the rest of you, too), don't doubt me. Ever!

Read the Background Material on the Morning Update...
• New York Times: AIDS Patients Face Downside of Living Longer