Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: From the “Top Ten Things Overheard At Hillary Clinton Campaign Headquarters”: “I can’t believe the campaign’s over already”; “Hillary’s changing into her concession pantsuit”; “So they’re nominating the guy with the most delegates, superdelegates, and states won? Outrageous!”; “Help us, Iron Man!”; “The Senator is in intense negotiations with Jim Beam”; “There’s a guy here to repossess the water cooler”; “It’s not the end—you can always get fat and make a global warming documentary”; “Is Obama still hiring?”

Jay Leno: Well, it looks like the Democrats finally solved their delegate problem. It seems the Democratic Party rules panel agreed to allow delegates from Florida and Michigan to take part in the convention, but each delegate will only count as half a vote. You’ve heard of superdelegates? These are the new fun-sized delegates. ... Congratulations to Hillary Clinton, who won the Democratic primary in Puerto Rico. This is important because, as you know, Puerto Rico has absolutely no vote for president. I think she also won big in Guatemala. ... Over the weekend, Barack Obama left his church. And after, he said to Hillary, “Okay, now it’s your turn to quit something.” ... Barack Obama says he’s now looking for a new church—preferably one where the religious order has to take a vow of silence.