Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: From “Top Ten Things Overheard on Hillary Clinton’s First Day Back at Work”: “Nice of you to show up”; “Did you win?”; “We chipped in for a welcome back pantsuit”; “Should I take the Madame President nameplate off your door?”; “Hillary’s choking another superdelegate”; “Senator Clinton, please stop throwing wads of paper at Senator Obama’s head”; “I can’t believe your shrill message of fear didn’t resonate”; “Please stop taunting her, Senator Kerry.”

Jay Leno: President Bush blasted Congress for not allowing oil exploration in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserve. Democrats said it wouldn’t do any good, because it wouldn’t produce oil for 10 years. You know, the same thing they said 10 years ago. ... Hillary Clinton is taking a month off from her job as senator to rest up from her campaign. How does that work? Think about this. You’ve been neglecting your job, trying to get a better job. You don’t get that job. So, you take a month off from the job you were trying to get out of, and go on vacation. Huh? Imagine if you tried that with your boss. “Hey, boss, listen. Boss, I’ll tell you, I’ve been looking for another job. I am exhausted! I want to take a month off. Here’s where you can send my check.” Let me know how that works out for you. ... Former Vice President Al Gore has endorsed Barack Obama. Have you seen Al Gore lately? I think his last endorsement was Stove Top stuffing, if I’m not mistaken. ... Barack Obama announced this week he’ll visit Iraq and Afghanistan before the election in November. He said he wants to see an area that’s been overrun by violent extremists. So, sounds like he already misses his old church.