Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno: Well, [last week] Congress officially apologized for slavery. Not a moment too soon, huh? You hate to see these things fester until there’s a lot of animosity. Thank God they nipped it in the bud like that. ... Congress is going on a much-deserved break. They got so much done this year. They don’t even call it a vacation; they call it a recess. Let’s see who gets recess: kindergarten, Congress and juries. The three you can’t trust to make an adult decision. ... Barack Obama may still pick a woman for VP, but not Hillary Clinton. Yeah. Well today, a top Hillary Clinton supporter named Lanny Davis said it was “inconceivable” that Obama would pick another woman over Hillary, to which Bill said, “It’s not that inconceivable.” ... Yeah that’s the big talk, they say Barack Obama could decide to go with another woman. See that’s what killed John Edwards’ chances of being VP—he decided to go with another woman. ... Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on “Meet the Press” that what he’s looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, “Trust me, that gets old really fast.” ... Beijing skies are so polluted that Chinese authorities are planning emergency measures for the Olympics. For example, protesters will now only be run over with hybrid tanks.