Wednesday Funnies :-)

Jay Leno:

President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem to be able to reach out to: Texas.

Despite Governor Rick Perry talking about how Texas could secede from the Union if it wanted to, 75 per cent of the people who live there want to stay in the United States. Of course they want to stay. I mean, after spending all that time and effort sneaking across the border to get here, why would they want to leave?

Amid much criticism, President Obama has released top-secret terror memos from the Bush administration. According to the memos, President Bush authorized various forms of torture, including waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and, of course, the fourth hour of the "Today" show.

It's being reported a congressional aide caught a staph infection at the congressional gym. If that's all you catch from a congressman, consider yourself lucky.

Did you even know there was a congressional gym? Have you seen your average congressman? Does Barney Frank look like he's been to the gym to you?