The inevitable “Tiger’s mistresses weren’t diverse enough” column

(By Ed Morrissey, Hot Air) - I expected this argument to be made, but not in the pages of the Washington Post; I assumed it would come as a blog post. Eugene Robinson takes leave of his senses in his attempt to spin Tiger Woods as either a racist or a self-hating minority — or a little of both — by complaining that Tiger’s mistresses have too much in common. Guess what that might be?

Here’s my real question, though: What’s with the whole Barbie thing?

No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who’ve been linked to Woods resemble one another. I’m talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement.

This may be the most interesting aspect of the whole Tiger Woods story — and one of the most disappointing. He seems to have been bent on proving to himself that he could have any woman he wanted. But from the evidence, his aim wasn’t variety but some kind of validation.

I’m making a big assumption here that the attraction for Woods was mostly physical, but there’s no evidence thus far that he had a lot of time for deep conversation. If adultery is really about the power and satisfaction of conquest, Woods’s self-esteem was apparently only boosted by bedding the kind of woman he thought other men lusted after — the “Playmate of the Month” type that Hugh Hefner turned into the American gold standard.

But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes — some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an “official” standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.

His taste in mistresses leaves the impression of a man who is, deep down, both insecure and image-conscious — a control freak even when he’s committing “transgressions.”

Of all the issues in play with this story, and even with many that probably shouldn’t be in play, this is easily the most ridiculous. I haven’t seen much of the mistresses, and I hope to see even less as this story finally falls out of the media spotlight, but it seems to me that Tiger shockingly cheated with attractive women. And while his assignations may have required a certain amount of logistical planning to keep them from coming to his wife’s attention, it seems very, very unlikely that Tiger planned his infidelities in such a way as to keep diversity as his primary motive.