Wednesday Funnies :-)
Conan O’Brien: “Sen. Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by porn star Jenna Jameson. Jameson’s exact quote was, ‘I’m endorsing Hillary so tell Bill to stop bothering me’.”
David Letterman: “Top Surprises in Al Gore’s New Book”: Dedicated to his “soulmate” Lindsay Lohan; 52 chapters... to match his waist size; Chastises Bill Clinton for not sharing the hot intern action; After the 2000 election, shaved his head and checked into rehab; All proceeds go to Paris Hilton’s legal defense fund; The threat that keeps him up at night? A massive Fritos shortage; Besides the Internet, also claims to have invented Keno; Brags that he has now written more books than President Bush has read.
Jay Leno: The price of gas just keeps going up. Gas is so expensive Jimmy Carter and President Bush are carpooling. ... Jimmy Carter actually said that George W. Bush is the worst in history. Then Bush said that’s not true, he said that he was the worst in math and English. He actually got a C- in history. ... President Bush’s approval numbers have dropped as low as 28 percent. That’s the lowest for any president since... Jimmy Carter, so he knows what he’s talking about. ... Now Jimmy Carter is backtracking. He now says that his comments were “misinterpreted.” I’m sure the phrase “the worst in history” can be taken any number of ways. ... This is kind of alarming. A nature watchdog group says that we have five years to fix global warming or face catastrophic consequences. Like the possibility of another Al Gore movie. ... Democrats announced that they are going to have six debates in six different cities all around the country. The good news: Hillary Clinton will use a different accent for each city. ... The White House and key members from both houses of Congress have come to an agreement on an immigration bill. Now people from Mexico can finally come to this country and no longer go through all that red tape. ... The Associated Press says that many of the Mexican people in Mexico are against this new immigration bill. Oh, man. Let’s hope they don’t boycott coming here.
David Letterman: “Top Surprises in Al Gore’s New Book”: Dedicated to his “soulmate” Lindsay Lohan; 52 chapters... to match his waist size; Chastises Bill Clinton for not sharing the hot intern action; After the 2000 election, shaved his head and checked into rehab; All proceeds go to Paris Hilton’s legal defense fund; The threat that keeps him up at night? A massive Fritos shortage; Besides the Internet, also claims to have invented Keno; Brags that he has now written more books than President Bush has read.
Jay Leno: The price of gas just keeps going up. Gas is so expensive Jimmy Carter and President Bush are carpooling. ... Jimmy Carter actually said that George W. Bush is the worst in history. Then Bush said that’s not true, he said that he was the worst in math and English. He actually got a C- in history. ... President Bush’s approval numbers have dropped as low as 28 percent. That’s the lowest for any president since... Jimmy Carter, so he knows what he’s talking about. ... Now Jimmy Carter is backtracking. He now says that his comments were “misinterpreted.” I’m sure the phrase “the worst in history” can be taken any number of ways. ... This is kind of alarming. A nature watchdog group says that we have five years to fix global warming or face catastrophic consequences. Like the possibility of another Al Gore movie. ... Democrats announced that they are going to have six debates in six different cities all around the country. The good news: Hillary Clinton will use a different accent for each city. ... The White House and key members from both houses of Congress have come to an agreement on an immigration bill. Now people from Mexico can finally come to this country and no longer go through all that red tape. ... The Associated Press says that many of the Mexican people in Mexico are against this new immigration bill. Oh, man. Let’s hope they don’t boycott coming here.
posted by Andy W. Rogers | 6:36 PM
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