Bush Says He Lets Red Phone Go Straight to Voicemail :-)

‘Baffled’ By Clinton Campaign Ads, President Says

The Borowitz Report

President George W. Bush commented on Sen. Hillary Clinton’s controversial “red phone” campaign ads at the White House today, telling reporters, “When that red phone rings, I just let it go straight to voicemail.”

Mr. Bush rarely comments about the Democratic presidential contest, but he said that he had to speak up about Sen. Clinton’s red phone ads because he found them “so confusing.”

“If I answered the red phone every time it rang, I would never get any sleep,” Mr. Bush said. “Sometimes it starts ringing at 9 PM, and I am already tucked in by then.”

Mr. Bush said that “there’s nothing so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow, or whenever I remember to check my voicemail.”

In a rebuke of Sen. Clinton, Mr. Bush added, “If she doesn’t know about letting your calls go straight to voicemail, I don’t think she has the experience to be president.”

Campaigning in Houston, former President Bill Clinton took issue with Mr. Bush’s remarks, telling reporters, “When I get a call at 3 AM, I always pick up, if you know what I mean.”

Pressed to explain exactly what he meant, the former president said, “Three o’clock in the morning – come on! Odds are we’re talking about a booty call.”

Shortly after his “booty call” remark, the Clinton campaign said that they were revising the former president’s itinerary to focus on states that had already voted in February.

Elsewhere, Sen. John McCain released a new series of campaign ads, showing him answering a telegraph key at 3 A.M.