Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: From the “Top Ten Signs President Bush Has Too Much Time On His Hands”: Spends most of the day looking for friends on Facebook; Stops by Cheney’s office every five minutes to see if he’s still alive; Calls leaders of foreign countries yelling, “Baba Booey Baba Booey”; Sits on the White House lawn and waves at cars; Gives the 3 p.m. White House tour; Earlier today, he washed and waxed Air Force One; “President is on the Trampoline” isn’t Secret Service code, he’s actually on the trampoline.

Jay Leno: John McCain has spent this week campaigning in what he calls the “forgotten areas” of the country. He is visiting places that are being ignored by our leaders, places like Pennsylvania now, now that the primary is over. See, unfortunately, at McCain’s age, as soon as he leaves these forgotten areas, he forgets he was there. ... And Barack Obama also on a tour, of places he’d like to forget, like his church. It’s never your enemies that kill you. It’s always your friends, isn’t it? ... Barack Obama is suffering from a bad headache today. His former pastor, Reverend Wright, is back out there. Reverend Wright gave an interview on PBS with Bill Moyers, and he said he’s gotten over a million emails and phone calls telling him to keep on speaking out, and every one of them came from Hillary Clinton. It was amazing. ... Hillary Clinton said she is a stronger candidate than Barack Obama. And to prove it, she counts the votes she got in Michigan, even though Obama’s name wasn’t even on the ballot. It’s a pretty strong argument. I mean, whenever Barack Obama’s name is not on the ballot, she beats him every single time.