Re: Re: RE: Heterosexual Love Is Destroying The Institution of Marriage

Steve, with all due respect, I think you're missing the forest for the trees with this article.

Here's my two cents: 'Heterosexual love,' love between a man and a woman, or whatever you want to call it is the only reason people have to stay in marriages anymore; today, marriages fall apart when it's not there, so yes, it is destroying the institution of marriage... when it isn't present.

First off, too many people are in love with the idea of being in love, then rush into a marriage with someone that's totally incompatible. Then once they've gotten tired of the physical stuff, it's starts to go downhill. Ever heard the cliche, 'Doing it for the kids'? Well, people used to stay in it for the kids, for the financial comfort, for fear of being alone, for fear of being ostracized, for fear of change, for fear of sinning, for fear of their spouse, and so on much more than they do these days. Yes, many of those fears still exist in bad marriages — which prolong the agony of two mis-matched and unhappy individuals — but people are more emboldened than ever to leave such situations and find 'true love,' and say to hell with the lesser comforts of the institution of marriage that keeps them romantically and intellectually idle. Now that people are confident that there is life after marriage and that they can support themselves without the spouses they don't love, they're getting out in record number. The absence of love is the impetus behind this trend, not the decay of the sanctity of marriage.

So from what I observe (which I'll admit is an 'IMHO' comment), when the 'ol 'heterosexual love' isn't there, there's nothing left to keep a marriage together anymore. That's why the divorce rate is so high, I think. People are finally saying to themselves, 'I deserve better. I deserve love.'

I'm so, so thankful for my wife, but I don't love her because she's 'My Wife.' I love her because she's my friend and I respect her. It's sad, but I don't find situations like ours a dime a dozen — more like a rarity. It's not 'marriage' that keeps us together. We both work, have our own interests, and are fully functional human beings apart from one another. What keeps us together is the presence of a true friendship and, yes, love between two people. Without the friendship, love, and respect, what's the motivation to be together?

I can promise you that if two dudes or two chicks want to say that they're 'married,' it's not going to affect me and my wife at all. What we have is not a result of the title of 'marriage' we share with countless others who may or may not take it seriously.