Wednesday Funnies... :-)

Jay Leno: [Monday] of course was the "Day Without Immigrants" as they called it. Or as the Native Americans call it, "the good old days." ... Lots of businesses were closed, streets were closed—everything was closed but that big hole down on the border. ... California now has the most expensive gas prices. Gas is so expensive now that drivers are shooting themselves instead of each other. ... You know gas is expensive when the guy behind the counter is wearing a ski-mask. ... It's close to four dollars a gallon. This is like "revenge of the Amish." They got that smug little buggy thing. ... Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs blaming the humans. ... In his latest audio tape Osama bin Laden says that the Bush administration is evil, it's made up excuses to attack Iraq, and is obsessed with Middle Eastern oil. If Osama bin Laden keeps talking like that he could wind up the Democratic frontrunner. ... Speaking of that, Senator John Kerry said this week that he is thinking about running for president again, but he hasn't made up his mind as of yet. Well, that should put to rest all those rumors about him being indecisive.