RE: Steve on the Stokes commissioner race

... if you were running for a Stokes commissioner spot this time around, what would comprise your platform?

Perish that thought! I can only hope that whatever temporary insanity caused me to do that before will never afflict me again.

I'll answer indirectly, though, and tell you what I would look for in a candidate.

First and foremost would be someone who would openly admit that the only function a commissioner serves is to confiscate wealth from county residents and redistribute it to others. Someone who would admit that would be very likely to do the job with at least a thought toward my best interests.

I would look for a platform that included a promise to fund the schools, health department, and social services at the absolute minimum legal levels. I would also look for a promise to fund law enforcement and emergency services at adequate levels while acting in an utterly medieval fashion toward any fire chief or EMS director who tries to treat the county budget as a slush fund for buying toys.

I would look for someone who recognizes zoning as a necessary evil and enforces its provisions minimally. However, I would look for a promise to apply Byzantine and outrageous use fees, building permit fees, and whatever other bureaucratic fees that can be invented to residential developers.

I would ask that they use their brains when appointing people to the myriad boards and commissions that the local pols use to deflect blame for unpopular decisions. I would look for a promise to only appoint the most cut-throat, Randian libertarians to the health and social services boards. I would also look for someone who is willing to remind the school board that they are a bunch of slobbering retards every time they show up in the commissioners' chambers.

While I was on the board, we increased the fine (at my insistence) for littering to $1,000. I want it increased to $10,000 and jail time for repeat offenders.

As you can plainly see, I probably won't be voting in a commissioner's race any time soon.