Wednesday Funnies :-)

David Letterman: Top Chapter Titles In George W. Bush's Memoirs: "101 Ways I've Misspelled 'Condoleezza"'; "Why Mom And Dad Voted For Kerry"; "How To Lose An Election And Still Become President"; "1962-1964: The Cheerleader Years"; "Huh?"; "Chapter 20...Or is That My Approval Rating?"

Jay Leno: It was so hot in Rhode Island that Patrick Kennedy was popping frozen Ambien. ... It was so hot in Cuba, Fidel Castro said he's looking forward to being put on ice. ... Castro's condition has been listed as a stable but homeless looking condition. ... As you know, the elderly Fidel Castro is recovering from surgery in Cuba. It was pretty serious. I understand he was rushed to the hospital on Donkey One. ... A message delivered on Cuban Television today said that Fidel Castro's condition is listed as stable, which in Communist countries means he'll be dead by Friday. ... In a speech in Florida President Bush praised all the contributions Cubans have made to America: catching, hitting, outfielding, shortstop. These were all major, major contributions. ... As you know President Bush is currently on vacation in Texas. He said he's going to try and do absolutely nothing for the next ten days. His advisors think this is the best way to bring his approval rating up. Just don't do anything. ... On a trip to Estonia, Senators McCain and Hillary Clinton got into a vodka-drinking contest. See that shows you how two sides can get together. When a McCain and a Clinton can both end up acting like a Kennedy.