Wednesday Funnies... :-)

Jay Leno: Happy Cinco de Mayo. People love Cinco de Mayo. I saw this one woman throwing back shots of tequila one after the other. Then I realized it was Hillary Clinton working the Latino vote. ... Hillary Clinton told People magazine this week she’s never had cosmetic surgery. She said it it’s not for her. You know how politicians hate anything that’s fake. ... Actually, there was a rumor she had cosmetic surgery back in the ‘90s. They said she had her eyes done when she was First Lady. It turns out it was right after the scandal. They just took the blinders off. That was all. No actual surgery was involved. ... Because of where John McCain was born—he was born in the Panama Canal Zone, you know, not in the United States—there was a question as to whether he could legally become president. Well, this week, the Senate declared McCain is eligible to become president, and listen to this, because of his age, also eligible to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. So that worked out great for him. ... President Bush blasted Congress for not allowing oil exploration in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Democrats said it wouldn’t do any good, because it wouldn’t produce oil for 10 years. You know, the same thing they said 10 years ago.